you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
