i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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