If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I am mentally ready for anal.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize