Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Sry I called you an 8
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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