is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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