All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
