Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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