people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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