just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
