My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
