Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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