so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
