Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
