i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
