Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
