My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
