it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
