Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
