so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
