He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
