I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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