its not stalking. its research.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
