we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize