If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I will pee on everything he values.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
