my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
even my farts smell like vagina
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
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I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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