is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
