Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
