get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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