I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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