Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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