I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
