the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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