P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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