i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We got so high we made milksteak
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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