So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
