Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sext me about skeletons
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
