It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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