I just saw a hot homeless man
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
