What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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