God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dignity is for republicans.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
