She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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