I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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