I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
