White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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