How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
