Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
