i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
