Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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