so explain again why im purple
no
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
