how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
