And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
