just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
