There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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