She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
