you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
