Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize