How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I want her autograph on my taint
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
